“A gender-equal society would be one where ‘gender’ does not exist: where everyone can be themselves” – Gloria Steinhem
I wouldn’t define the subject of this post as a pet peeve, per se. It’s not a something that causes me constant ire, but rather, on the occasions when I encounter it, I do feel peevish. Affronted. Vexed. My eyes narrow, I shake my head, I sigh, throw my head back, and roll my eyeballs so hard they fall out of my head and down my back.
The subject? Graphic t-shirts for kids. YES, I know it may seem an absolutely ridiculous subject to get my panties in a twist about. But bear with me on this one.
I don’t spend a lot of time shopping for things at actual stores at this point in my life. When I had more money and time and less children and responsibilities, “shopping” was an actual activity that I participated in. Leisurely, at will, sometimes with purpose, but sometimes just for something to do.
Now, any shopping I do is predominantly focused on need, mostly under stress, and often with annoyance. 90% of my shopping is online, while the other 10% happens when I have to actually walk into into a store, seeking out something that is desperately needed (usually) by one of my spawn.
So, at the end of the school year, vacation happened. As it usually does, in the same location, and with the same needs and expectations. I could have inventoried my children’s wardrobes ahead of time, but I chose to delegate that responsibility to my children, along with the responsibility of letting me know what their perceived wardrobe needs were. Dummy me.
Two days into vacation, one daughter was lamenting her lack of bathing suit attire, while the other one had to borrow a swim shirt to cover her sunburned shoulders (go ahead, call me a crappy mom for not slathering my kids in SPF 500 sunscreen every 30 minutes. Also, eat shit, because I make some not-insignificant sacrifices to be able to provide my kids with two weeks of constant sunshine and activity and fun).
ANYWAY…all this to say is that I felt compelled to go shopping, because my kids needed some clothing, and since there was a huge outlet shopping complex nearby, off I went, with my older daughter in tow.
We dashed in and out of several stores, to no avail. I had already resigned myself to placing an on-line order for my teen, and then, I saw it, the store sign shining like a beacon: The Children’s Place.
If there were any store I’d be able to find something suitable (see what I did there?) for my young tween, this would be it. So in we went, trotting quickly around, looking for bathing suits.
After a minute or two, I started noticing something, once I realized that no swimwear was available. I slowed my pace and found myself looking back and forth, between this and that clothing bracket, this and that table, this and that display, my eyes widening.
Quick side note: I have two daughters, who love and/or loved unicorns, narwhals, dolls, legos, kittens, babies and matchbox cars. I have two daughters who play lacrosse and basketball. I have two daughters who excel in math and science, along with music and writing. I have two daughters who typically choose comfort over style when it comes to their clothing choices. I have two daughters who love to express their personalities through graphic t-shirts.
Still with me? Okay then. This is what I saw as my head was on a swivel:
Notice anything conspicuous? Absurd? Sexist?? If you say no, you’ll have to come here and say it to my face so that I may gently correct you, perhaps with a high five to your forehead. With a chair.
Boys clothing: orange, navy blue, red, green. With trucks and footballs and stripes and dinosaurs. And words like “power” and “victory” and “hustle” and “game”.
Girls clothing: pink, purple, light blue, rainbows. With hearts and unicorns and strawberries and kittens. And words like “love” and “beautiful” and “unicorn” (OMG sooooo many unicorns) and “perfect”.
I will admit, I dressed my daughters in the pinkest and purplest and floofiest of clothes when they were little. I didn’t even look at the other side of the aisle. It didn’t even occur to me, because the gender lines are drawn so clearly, starting with infant onesies.
It wasn’t until I did start to look across the aisle, when my oldest realized that the boys had some pretty rad shirts, that I realized how badly the clothing companies were screwing up. Girls like trucks and mud! Boys like music and horses! Girls like dinosaurs! Boys like reading books! Girls like navy blue! Boys like purple!
So who chose the definitions of identity with respect to children’s clothing? Where’s the inclusivity? Where’s the diversity? Because even if children aren’t told explicitly what boys and girls are “supposed” to like, according to the way clothing is categorized, kids are being sent messages about what their identity should be, one t-shirt at a time.
I let my Google fingers do some research, and I did find some positive results. L.L. Bean’s kid’s graphic t-shirts are nearly identical for both boys and girls. Land’s End is okay-ish. Old Navy is better than they used to be. But damn…I have called out The Children’s Place before, and I am doing it again now.
Here’s a suggestion for the clothing companies who are all over the graphic t-shirt game. How about you blend your displays in store, and not assign gender in your catalogs? Your targeted demographic(s) will no doubt respond enthusiastically about all of the options available to everyone.
Let’s enable our kids, and ourselves, the opportunity to express our likes, our hobbies, our passions, and our personalities as we wish. My child’s affinity for legos and skull designs and navy blue shirts should matter just as much as another child’s affinity for dancing, panda bears and purple shirts, regardless of gender.
Until Next Time…
Just Breathe.
The Twisted Maven