Category: Women

“Because you are women, people will force their thinking on you…don’t live the shadows of people’s judgment. Make your own choices in the light of your own wisdom” – Amitabh Bachchan.

This piece was difficult to write, and I purposely chose not to include any graphics.

Let’s just say this month has been one of the longest years I’ve ever experienced. I feel as though I have an abundance of topics on my mind, which are as varied and scattered as my brain has been lately. There’s all these things happening, but one thing has overshadowed all of it.

It’s the fact that several states have now passed laws restricting abortion to the point that under no circumstances will it be legal to perform or have an abortion procedure without penalty to the impregnated or their health care provider.

At this point, I’m grateful that none of these laws will take effect immediately, and most will be challenged in higher courts. I hope women and organizations such as the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, as well as others, will fight against these draconian laws. I also hope that the judges in those cases will honestly and thoughtfully consider all of the facts. And that ultimately the courts will decide to uphold women’s rights make choices about their bodies, as well as access to health care.

I have to say that most of the outrage that I’ve observed over these restrictive anti-choice laws has been focused on victims of rape and/or incest, as well as pregnancies that compromise or endanger a woman’s or fetuses’ health.

To be honest, I feel like those emphases may be a bit excessive. Lest you think I’m a heartless asshole, let me say this: victims of sexual assault should absolutely be granted all of the medical, emotional and psychological support that they need, up to and beyond the right to terminate a pregnancy that has been forced upon them. And the same goes for women whose own health or fetuses may be compromised by carrying a baby to term.

Here’s my “however”: pregnancies terminated due to reported sexual assault and/or concern for the woman’s/fetuses health make up less than 3% of abortions performed each year. Yet, it seems to me that a disproportionate number of many of the pro-choice arguments have focused on this minority-by-a-lot demographic.

Here’s why I think that is: people who are pro-choice want to have the best reasons to support their stance, which is understandable. And the concept of a child or woman being forced to give birth to a baby borne of assault and without consent, or at grave risk to her health is truly abhorrent.

But I’d like to focus on the other 97 percent of women who elect to terminate pregnancies, at any point. I’d like to move beyond the obvious and into the uncomfortable. Because I feel like that is where the conversations and education need to happen.

The majority of legal abortions obtained in the United States happen because progressing with the pregnancy would adversely affect the woman’s life. Some of the specific reasons include financial instability, age, the desire to avoid single parenthood, not being emotionally/mentally ready for the responsibility of raising a child, and concern about how a baby would affect their entire life.

Does that make you uncomfortable? Are you thinking that, due to your own personal experiences and biases, that a “healthy” pregnancy should continue to term? Because the woman could choose adoption, because birth rates are falling, because women you know, or you yourself, want or wanted to have a baby, and have had to face great, heartbreaking adversity in trying to achieve their goal?

Understand that you are essentially comparing apples to oranges if that is your line of thinking. And let me offer a simple thought: why should a woman be forced to be pregnant against their will? Please let that question sink in. Read it again, and think about it.

Why should a woman be forced to be pregnant against her will? She shouldn’t.

Another way to consider it; one of the main arguments against a woman’s right to choose is that a fertilized human egg is that it is a human life that should be saved, preserved. What about other procedures to save human life? There are people who require blood transfusions, organ replacements, bone marrow infusions, in order to save their lives.

What do all of those procedures have in common? They are performed with the consent of the person saving those lives, through blood, organ and marrow donation, whether the donor is alive or dead.

So again, why would a person be forced to “save a life” against their will?

Pregnancy is an infinitely complex issue. It affects every single woman differently. When I had my children, I wanted to be pregnant, I loved being pregnant, my fertilized eggs were healthy and I was a fabulous pregnant woman. I was also in a stable relationship and financially secure. And if my two pregnancies were any indication, I could have borne many more children easily. I consciously choose not to, and because I had access to insurance and affordable birth control, that choice was simple.

But I have seen and/or heard of countless scenarios that where unlike mine. And had my circumstances been different, my choices may have also been different.

Here’s a hard truth: if abortions are made illegal, they will still happen, but without medical expertise and with great risk to the women and those who love them. At least, for those who are not financially privileged. Those with means will still and always be able to deal with unwanted pregnancies.

Personal anecdote: one of my ancestors had had an illegal abortion prior to Roe v.Wade. Which resulted in her death, and lead to her seven children being raised in an orphanage. This relative was uneducated, an immigrant, impoverished, and didn’t have the physical, financial or emotional capacity to add another child to her already overwhelmed life.

Consider this; if my ancestor had had access to legal and safe abortion services, and had legal autonomy over her body, she could have had a simple medical procedure and would have been able to continue raising her children. Think about the fact that the ripple effect of this one woman’s situation is affecting three and four generations since.

So here’s the uncomfortable truth; women choose to terminate pregnancies for myriad reasons, some of which may not jibe with your personal beliefs.

But to take away the ability to terminate any unwanted, traumatic, unhealthy, or otherwise compromised pregnancy will not significantly reduce abortions. Instead, they will be relegated to illegal locations, which could be unhealthy at the least, and deadly at the most. And those who will not be able to afford these illegal abortions are also those who cannot afford prenatal care, hospital expenses for the birth of their child, and the cost for the care of a baby.

So no matter your personal beliefs about the right to choose to abort a pregnancy, you cannot and should not impose them upon others. Women deserve autonomy over their bodies, their brains and their psyche. Access to health care and education should be a top priority, instead of ripping the rug out from under women.

Observations and studies have shown, time and time again, access to gynecological care and affordable birth control greatly reduces the incidence of unintended pregnancy and abortions.

Give women the power to make their own decisions about their bodies, you give them the power to make decisions about their entire lives.

And if that scares you, crawl under the rock where you belong. Otherwise, join hands, and let’s continue to fight and work for equality and autonomy for over half the world’s population.

If you stuck with me through all that, I thank you. I understand that this is a complicated subject, and I respect those opinions that vary from mine. However, the point I cannot step away from is forcing a woman to pregnant against her will. This is what I feel strongly about and is the basis for my entire argument to preserve a woman’s right to choose.

Please know that I welcome your thoughts, both opposing and in support.

In the meantime…

Just Breathe.

The Twisted Maven