“Three phrases that sum up the Christmas spirit are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill Toward Men and Batteries Not Included.” – Anonymous.
No matter what particular phase of life I have been in; child, teenager, adult, in a relationship, single, before kids, with kids, whatever – I have ALWAYS loved Christmas.
Regardless of being a non-practicing nothing currently, and earlier generations having been kind of sometimes sort of religious, Christmas, from the time I was little, has always been a very secular celebration. There may have been the occasional creche mixed in among the lights and ribbons and nutcrackers, but this holiday has always been primarily about three things: family, food, and traditions.
When I was a small child, Christmas morning always started out at home with presents, stockings, eggs and bacon. Then we would travel to my maternal grandparent’s home, along with a bunch of aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends we called aunts and uncles. There was a roast, mashed potatoes, creamed peas and canned pears dyed green and red with cottage cheese. There were Bloody Marys for the adults, the Chipmunks Christmas Album on the record player/radio/liquor cabinet console, and one kid or another constantly crying and/or being disciplined.
Side story: one time, my dad got sufficiently annoyed at his mother in law and pretended to have an urgent errand to run. I was fortunate enough to go on this “errand”, bolting out of the front door behind my dad, and in front of my grandmother’s admonishment to put a hat on or risk my brains freezing. The errand ended up being a short trip to one of my dad’s aunt’s homes, where the smell of garlic permeated the air and we walked on plastic runners and sat on plastic covered couches and I was given big bosomy hugs and affectionate face squeezes like only an Italian auntie can give. When we returned, it was like we never left. At least one kid was sulking, Dave was still yelling at Alvin, and lots of people and noise filled the house.
When my family moved to New Jersey from Upstate New York, it was just the five of us most Christmases. Let’s call those “The Quiet Years”.
Then, as will happen with the passing of time, my brothers and I grew up and moved away. I got married and had a kid, and my parents followed me here to Connecticut. My brothers also got married, and their families currently live in Pennsylvania. Both of my brothers also have non-traditional work schedules, where one usually has to work holidays and the other could be called into work on a moment’s notice. So that all led to some ingenuity of how to celebrate the holidays.
Now, a week or two before actual Christmas, my brothers and I and our families gather at my parents’ house and exchange gifts, rank on each other, laugh a ton, and eat all the food. My children get to see their aunts and uncles and cousins (which, as of this writing, includes two canines and a super cute one-year old human), my parents get to have all of their kids and grandkids in one place at the same time, and it’s magical chaos, just like when I was a kid.
And, of course, there are the traditions that have been established in my own home over the years. One of which is to buy a Christmas tree, bring it home, and leave it outside for several days. This year, we might break the previous year’s record of 6 days. Another is to place the gingerbread houses that my children spent several hours decorating, on top of a cabinet at adult eye level. And then forget about them until well into January. And of course there’s the damn Elf on a Shelf, named Rico. Most nights, he moves…sometimes, he’s just “too embarrassed” by their “behavior” and doesn’t want to “tell Santa”, so he stays put for a night or four.
The most recent tradition that I’ve embraced is allowing my nine-year-old to be in charge of Christmas decorations. Put this under the category of Stuff I Used to Have Nailed Down But Now Lack the Energy and Will to Deal With. I have an extensive collection of Christmas decorations, including indoor and outdoor lights, outside inflatables, placemats, candleholders, nutcrackers, dishes, kitschy decorations, signs, garland, and the largest collection of holiday-themed dishtowels you will ever see.
My girl, who is undoubtedly the one person in this house who is completely in the Christmas spirit, doesn’t give a crap about most of those things. This year, she made approximately 350 paper snowflakes and taped them on the walls of EVERY SINGLE ROOM IN THE HOUSE. I kinda love it. She also arranged my nutcrackers in a group, without rhyme or reason, and called it “Nutcracker Village”. I had to move a few so no one would break their neck trying to open the pantry. And she incorporated her lego people, whom she has all named and identified as family members, into her decorating efforts.
Someday, these current traditions will be modified. Someday, once again, my decorations will be organized and put out in a timely manner. Someday, “Alternate Christmas” might not be a thing. Someday, Christmases may be quieter. So I’ll take the pile of nutcrackers, the legos, the paper snowflake decorations, the noise and chaos of the celebration with my siblings even though it’s not “actually” Christmas. Because, to me, it “actually” is what Christmas is all about. Family, food, and traditions, along with love, laughter, and things being what they are, regardless of how we want them to be.
My very best wishes to you and yours this holiday season, however, whomever, and whatever you celebrate.
I’ll be talking to you soon, and in the meantime…
Just Breathe.
The Twisted Maven
PS. I would LOVE to hear about your holiday traditions, celebrations, frustrations, anecdotes, and anything else you’d like to share. Please comment below, send me a message, and don’t forget to follow, share and like on social media!
