“Just scream! You vent, and the body feels good after a good old yell.” – Carol Burnett
Okay, here’s the thing: I’ve been stuck in The BLAH for a few weeks now, and I am just done with it. I thought maybe writing about it would help, and it did, albeit temporarily.
I guess it’s partly the time of year, since it’s still all cold and dark and spring is still forever away. I’m also feeling kind of oldish, as I’ve recently realized that I recognize fewer and fewer “celebrities” listed in those stupid listicles that I JUST HAVE to read. Plus my back always kind of hurts and acid reflux is an enemy to be battled daily. And I really need to dust.
To be honest, a big contributing factor to my BLAH is current events and politics. The state of things have me thisclose to LOSING MY FRICKING MIND.
The glut of information we have at our fingertips is incredible. The glut of MISinformation we have at our fingertips is astounding. And the number of people who will share blatant falsehoods and then defend their bullshit to anyone who tries to correct them is infuriating. Some days it feels like everyone is yelling and angry all the time, and civil discourse between people who disagree has all but disappeared.
Look, I am totally guilty to falling down the rabbit hole of news outlets and social media posts. And recently, I’ve been especially guilty of consuming lots of news and opinions that make me furious. Which means I’ve been in an almost constant state of facepalming, punctuated by frequent bouts of dismay and anger.
In the interest of keeping my sanity, aside from screaming into the void, I’ve decided it’s time to take a breath and look for the funny. I can always find memes that make me laugh, but recently, bad jokes have been what lifts my mood. Some call them “Dad Jokes”, but to be honest, I’m the one telling them in my household.
So, as a temporary distraction from news and politics, I offer you the following:
Dude 1: “Bro, you want to see, this pamphlet?” Dude 2: “Bro, sure”
What do you call an overweight psychic? A four-chin teller.
What fish is just two sodium atoms? 2 Na
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut? I’m a cashew.
A cheetah and a lion race. The cheetah wins, and the lion says, “You’re a cheetah!”. The cheetah says, “Nah, you’re lion.”
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
The difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $2.00, but deer nuts are under a buck.
Finally, this favorite: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
That last one is legendairy.
Until next time…
Just Breathe…
The Twisted Maven
Thank you! I really needed this. It’s been a bad week. Lactose. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣