“Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.” – Henry Ward Beecher
I don’t get a lot of opportunity to spend time alone in the car at this point in my life, but when I do, and it’s for more than 15 minutes, I’m listening to podcasts. Some of my favorites include You Are Not So Smart (because I like learning about how our brains mess with us), With Friends Like These (because I like hearing points of view that vary from mine in a respectful, non-hostile manner), Pod Save America (because I crave information and humor in and about our current political climate), and Freakonomics.
In case you are unfamiliar, Freakonomics basically takes apart, analyzes, and explains stuff. Like gender differences in the workplace, why people hate flying (and why they shouldn’t), how to be more productive, why you should get enough sleep, and one I listened to a couple of years ago, “Why Is My Life So Hard?”.
Among other things, it discusses the broad topic of gratitude. It’s not much of a secret that purposefully practicing gratitude, something as simple as a daily notation of something that one is grateful for, demonstrated benefits. Aside from just making sense, there is research that documents those benefits of gratitude, including improvements to relationships, physical health, mental health, self-esteem and sleep habits, as well as reduced aggression and heightened empathy.
So with all of those benefits, why isn’t EVERYONE practicing gratitude daily? Why is something so easy not widely practiced? Well, for one, our brains aren’t wired that way. In relation to the practice of gratitude, this Freakonomics episode discusses something called the “Headwinds/Tailwinds Asymetry”, which is also the title of a research paper published by a couple of really smart psychologists, Tom Gilovich and Shai Davidai.
The gist of headwinds/tailwinds asymmetry is that it’s easier for people to ignore the good things in their lives, to take them for granted (“tailwinds”), while giving more of their energy and attention to perceived obstacles and negatives in their lives (“headwinds”).
Why? Because we don’t have to pay attention to those things that make our lives good. We generally simply adapt our world view to make the good things part of the background, what is just assumed to be a part of our lives. Gilovich and Daviai call those “the invisibles”, the things that we can and should be grateful for, but often just don’t see.
This resonated with me, and I picked up a book, called “Micro-Resilience”, written by Bonnie St. John and Allen P. Haines. Chapter 4 is titled “Reframe Your Attitude”, which discusses the benefits of positive thinking and the science behind it, and provides suggestions and resources to help diminish negative thoughts and enhance positive ones, and how that can bring about actual change in one’s life.
All of this is to say that I am grateful (see what I did there?) that I have come across some resources that delve into the science of gratitude and positive thinking. Because, honestly it is something I struggle with; I’ve started and stopped what I intended to be a daily gratitude journal about 6 times. And each time, without fail, I have dropped it after my fifth non-consecutive entry of “I am grateful for coffee”.
I now recognize that it is far easier for me to overlook the importance of the “invisibles” in my life (e.g., my children have access to a quality education, I am able to afford a mortgage payment, I have single-stream recycling, I have internet access most of the time) than the perceived obstacles (e.g., everything that I wish I had more of, less of, or better than it is now).
So now I’m going to try to take a moment every day, or at least once or twice a week and really think about some of the apparent and invisible things I’m grateful for. And I’m not going to treat it as a self-inflicted obligation. I will attempt to recognize the tailwinds more, and not dwell so much on the headwinds. And just see what happens.
Lastly, dear reader, I’d love to know if you practice gratitude regularly, how you do it, and if you get caught up in your headwinds.
Until next time,
Just Breathe…
The Twisted Maven
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